These last few days I have just been feeling like soaking Sawyer up as much as possible. I am super excited about Dayton being born and think she is going to love him (maybe after a little time:) and be a great big sister. However, there are definitely moments where I think "aw, she won't remember when it was just the 2 of us at home" (me staying at home with her - obviously I know there are 3 people in our family :) and I think of that, too. "Aw, she won't remember bed time with just me & Casey doting all over her with no one else to care for.") I know she will always have that special first born child thing going on, but I'm also not a fan of sibling rivalry or anyone feeling they are the favorite (unless they all feel that way;) so I know I am going to try to super hard to give all of my children each their own momma time and momma/daddy time--and also build them up with their individual, unique characteristics and gifts. I do think maybe we are at an advantage right now with having a boy and a girl so that they are so different that they don't feel as much competition, but at the same time I am so worried about one feeling like the other is favored. Maybe this is because I am an only child?? I just want all of my children to think we love and adore them SO much and not worry about how much we love the others, etc. I think we're going to end up with 3 kids (adopting the 3rd is in our near plans) and I know that automatically outnumbers us. Because of that I think there has to be extra diligence taken.
Oh my, the worries of motherhood. I'm just glad my motherhood worries consist of how much love everyone is going to get and not how I'm going to feed my babies or worries about health issues and finances. We are so blessed and I cannot wait to bring Dayton into this world. Until then, I am SOAKING SAWYER UP. She is SO much fun and I am LOVING this stage. She has no idea how much she is loved and I pray that she always feels it. We already have ideas and plans to keep her feeling the love after Dayton arrives.
I have been reading her books about having a little brother, telling her the she is having a little brother, and I got her so many little doll accessories for Christmas that coincide with Dayton's stuff…like a little doll car seat/carrier to carry around her own baby, a little backpack type thing (like a baby bjorn) to carry around her baby when she sees me carry Dayton in a sling, doll diapers and a little doll diaper bag with a pacifier, comb, and car keys. My grandma also got her a little doll cradle. I think she is going to love it all and love doing things with her baby as I do things with Dayton. :) Not sure how she'll mimic or know what to do about the breastfeeding part, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, haha! :) We also already talked about Casey taking her to get breakfast once or twice a month - just him and her. And I know that she and I will have to take advantage of brother's many naps. I will have to get creative with some not-too-noisy activities for us to do. I already know that she LOVES drawing so I got her a coloring book that uses water - I know she'll like that. We also got her a magna doodle that has a pen to draw. She seriously LOVES drawing. It's cute :)
Anyway, I am excited AND nervous about being a mother of two - but I know it is going to be so much fun (especially after we get both kids sleeping through the night… for Sawyer that was hit or miss from 4-6 months old and then really good at 7 months. Maybe Dayton will be a little better) ;) Once he can interact with her more I know things are going to get really good. She already loves babies (real or fake) and I think she will adore her little bro. I know having a second baby is whole new territory for every mom, but it is even more so for me because I am an only child!! What is it like to have a brother or a sister?! I have no idea. PLUS, to have them within 20 months of each other!!! They are only going to be 2 grades apart (senior and sophomore) and less than 2 years apart! So weird. I am excited though! I have always wanted a "big" family and to me, having more than 1 child already feels like a big family! I am loving the thought of it. :) Yay! For Casey this is old news I guess. He was kind of in Dayton's shoes… he has a big sister who is 3 years old than him and 3 grades apart (senior and freshman) so it was a little more spread out, but he still knows what it was like to have an older sister!
Anyway, thanks for "listening" to my ramblings. I just thought I should blog about it so I don't forget these thoughts later. I know life is so fleeting and time is flying by. I don't want to forget how I feel in these last few days/weeks leading up to having my second born child -- the first born boy! Yay Dayton, we are excited to meet you! We love you already :)
