A Little Gem

I am sitting down to write my second-to-last paper of my entire masters degree. I literally only have 3 classes left until graduation. I cannot believe it. I've been reflecting on the last 3 years a lot lately as I try to wrap my head around the thought of being done with school and being a certified counselor. It feels surreal.  The other day I had a client say, "Man, you've done a lot for your age!" When I thought about that statement it started to kind of click, "wow, I'm 27, I have 2 children, I taught 3 years of 6th grade, worked an internship at a psychiatric hospital, interned at a private practice, and now about to graduate with a job lined up and ready to go! It feels like a whirlwind!!!" 


I found something today that made me look back at the progression of my career…

During my first semester of student teaching at A&M (Fall 2007) I wrote down 10 goals that I wanted my students to learn from me or feel. It did not have a lot to do with the content I was teaching, it was more things like… Feel valued, worthwhile, and accepted by me. Feel heard by me. Feel safe in my classroom. Feel like they can come to me when they need help regarding school, friendships, and stuff at home.

I kept this piece of paper in my desk all 3 years that I taught and looked at it quite often. I kept it right on top of a stack of papers inside my top drawer. I probably saw that paper almost everyday. Right now its packed up in a box in the attic and it will come down if I ever decide to teach again. That's not out of the realm of future possibilities. I loved teaching, actually. It was pretty hard to give up that part of my life, but my babies are for sure worth it. 

Anyway, at the end of each school year I gave my students a series of questions and told them they could keep it anonymous. I wanted them to let me know if I had made them feel heard, worthwhile, accepted, safe, etc. (I also asked things like "Did you ask for tutoring and/or receive extra help if you struggled…did you feel that enough technology was used in our classroom…stuff like that). I kept their answers and reflected on them many times. I really wanted them to have a good experience and hoped that the next year I could make it an even better one. 

Today I was going through my recently fixed laptop (I overloaded it with too much junk to the point that it wouldn't turn on, so we had to have a friend take the hard drive out and remove 25 gigabytes of pictures…Yes, I admit I am a pictureholic. I need help.), and I found a little gem. It's a picture of one of the papers that a student had written (2009 school year). I took a picture of it back then because it was so sweet and it made me smile. It had the same affect on me today as I read the answer to #10. "She could've been a counselor! :)" The question I asked the class was "Did you feel like you could talk to me about your problems with school, friends, and/or home?"

Man! It's like this girl could see into my future. When I read this today I just thought it was so neat that something I am doing 4 years later is something that a 12-year-old girl thought I'd be good at when I taught her in the 6th grade.

Of course her note on the back was the best part. "Mrs. Coats, you are my favorite teacher. When I'm 50 I believe I'll still remember you. You really are awesome. -Ale"

I tell you what, those kinds of notes and words of encouragement from a kid is THE BEST PART OF TEACHING. I know my teacher friends will agree. When it clicks with a student and you see that you were apart of helping them--it's all so worth it. And the best part is that, while confidential, I still get to experience that in counseling! I'll never be able to post a note from a client on the internet or show a friend, but helping a person out and getting to see that moment where they've just seen something in a new light is so exhilarating. I love it. In a lot of ways teaching is what has brought me to counseling and I couldn't be more grateful for that experience. 

Thank you, Ale, for your sweet words. They still make me smile today! 

New Counseling Website

Hello Friends! I've started a website for counseling and would love for you to help me out by giving it some traffic to get it going. Please visit www.laurencoatscounseling.webs.com

Welcome! My name is Lauren Coats. I am currently finishing up my Masters in Education in Community Counseling from Texas A&M University-Commerce and am supervised by Dr. Stephen A. Armstrong, Ph.D, LPC-S, RPT-S, CSC.  I have a Bachelors of Science from Texas A&M University-College Station and am experienced in individual, couple, andfamily counseling as well as child and adolescent therapy. Other client concerns include: depression, anxiety, sexual abuse recovery, trauma, self-harm, grief, codependency issues, substance abuse, and marital and family conflict resolution.

School/Work + being a SAHM

Today marks the beginning of my 2nd year as a stay-at-home mom! Let me take this moment to say how blessed I feel to have been able to do this for an entire year. God's provision has been more than enough in our lives and it still astounds us that we God has been able to stretch our money the way that He has! Looking back 16 months ago, this was not an option. But somehow, miraculously (I think), it has worked! We cut our income in half--literally--and have not been made to feel "without" or even "poor." Sure, we probably would have moved to a bigger house, bought some new "stuff," or maybe gone on an all-inclusive vacation somewhere, but we don't need to do those things and we certainly wouldn't trade them for this opportunity to have Sawyer and baby #2 at home with me. So, after all that, I'm just saying, that we feel lucky and also thankful to God for somehow helping us out when we had little faith, in the beginning, that it would work. :) God is good!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

To a lot of people I've never actually been just a stay-at-home mom, but in my book you're a SAHM if you take care of your kid(s) basically 24/7 even if you have a "job"… like a position at a Mother's Day Out (MDO), or babysitting someone else's kids, or even substitute teaching just one or two days a week--and I've done all of those in my first year of being a SAHM. However, Sawyer was never in the care of anyone but myself, Casey, or grandparents (occasionally), so I think that's pretty much the definition of a SAHM. :)  In the beginning I was working at MDO and subbing on Fridays. Then, I got a job babysitting twin boys 2 days a week, but continued to work at the MDO as well. In the summers MDO isn't open so I kept just 1 little boy (Braden) 2 days a week. Obviously my "jobs" ebbed and flowed a lot during the first year, but they were enough to help pay for my graduate school tuition.

Here are the changes for the upcoming year:

This fall I am going to keep Braden 2 days a week in my home, have class 2 nights a week, meet with my supervisory 1 hour a week, do my school internship on Fridays, and have a women's Bible study for 7 weeks! Whew!
Here is what my schedule will look like during the week:

• Monday - meet every week with my internship supervisor to go over tapes 11:15-12:15 in Mesquite - other than that I'm off work/school, but I schedule all of mine and Sawyer's doctor's appointments on this day and you would not believe how many of those there are - I go every month for baby check up and between Sawyer's regular check ups at the pediatrician + her ENT to check on tubes, she goes about once a month as well! Crazy!
• Tuesday - off work/school, 7-week Women's Bible Study held in Rockwall (I am really looking forward to this!)
• Wednesday - keep Braden 9:00-3:30, class 4:30-7:10
• Thursday - keep Braden 9:00-3:30, class 4:30-7:10 (this class just meets 5 weeks in October)
• Friday - internship in the behavioral health unit at a hospital in Greenville 8:30-4:30 while Casey watches Sawyer
• Saturday - off with Casey; family day!
• Sunday - church, homework, nap :)

I am really looking forward to being in a routine this fall even though it is going to be a very busy semester! I am taking 6 hours of school (plus the 8 hr weekly internship), keeping Braden 13 hours a week (I also pick him up and take him back so that's an extra hour each day, so you could say 15 hours a week), and also taking care of Sawyer full time! I will be one busy momma for sure. I am not sure what I would do if I didn't have school or keep an extra kid. I know I would find stuff to fill my time, but after having done all of this for the beginning of being a SAHM I think I will love doing nothing in the spring!! Ha! I'll have a newborn then, so I'm sure it will feel like more work, anyway. :) 

Oh, I guess I didn't mention that… I am taking the Spring semester off from school and taking 6 weeks off from keeping Braden. So, for 6 weeks it's just me and my 2 kiddos. Then, after 6 weeks I'll go back to keeping Braden until May. No classes or internship.

In June I will start my "full time internship" (that's what it's called, but it's actually a minimum requirement of 20 hours a week). So, from June-December I will be taking a full load of classes, and in addition to that, I will be interning somewhere 20 hours a week for those entire 7 months. I will not keep any kids during that time, in fact, I will have to find someone to keep my own kids for those 20 hours a week during those 7 months. Then, BAM! December gets here and I'm finally going to graduate with my Masters of Education in Counseling! Woohoo! It feels like it's all right around the corner now that I know what semesters I'm doing what classes, etc.

As far as the spring of 2014 goes... I will try to find a part time counseling job (somewhere like Lake Pointe or Sunnyvale's Life Builders would be ideal) where I can gain my 3,000 hours (paid hours, thank goodness!) before taking my test to get my LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) licensure. Until then I will be an LPC-I (LPC intern). After I get my license as an LPC I hope to start working "with my mom" "on my own" (meaning my own private practice, but at my mom's practice;).

So there's my next few years in a nut shell folks! Obviously God could change our plans or something drastic could happen and things would change, but for now, those are the "plans." They are written in sand, not in stone. :)

ABC's of Lately

A is for Austin.  We just got back from a weekend trip to Austin to hang out with Casey's friends from college (and my friends, too! I've now know them for as long as I've known Casey, minus 2 weeks.) We had a fun time hanging out, swimming, and catching up!


B is for baby #2. We have our next doctor appointment set for July 16th and are really hoping to find out the gender that day as well! Still trying to think of a creative way to tell friends & family…not sure I'll do the gender reveal party again, so I'm trying to come up with something new and fun!


C is for Casey. Sawyer & I are so lucky to have him as husband and daddy. We tried hard to make his Father's Day extra special. Seriously, it was as if Sawyer knew - she was extra sweet and extra "Daddy's Girl" for him. :)


D is for doctor. Sawyer had a pretty big fall out of her high chair--it's actually a booster seat in the regular chair of our kitchen table, which is a pub table, so that means a tall chair:( Not good. It ended with a very bloody nose, mouth, and bruised forehead. We took her straight to the doctor hoping that we wouldn't be sent to the ER. Fortunately, we weren't. They checked each one of Sawyer's teeth, her nose, and asked us a few questions about how she was acting. She was fine and happy, but gave us a good scare.


E is for Ezra the Escape.  He recently turned 100,000 miles and really it just made me miss Sally. I got Sally in 2002 with only 7 miles on her and I know it sounds silly, but I always thought I'd get to see her turn 100,000 miles and I didn't. Sad times. Ezra is a good car, but just not the same. 


F is for family & the Fourth of July. We are going camping with Casey's family for the 4th this year and I'm really excited! Casey's parents have an RV that easily holds the whole family (that's 6 adults, 1 kid, 3 babies to be exact! (4 if you count the one in my belly;)) and we've only taken advantage of going with them once and that was before we were even married! The night of the 4th we'll see fireworks and then we'll stay another couple of nights. Fun times!


G is for garden. Ours is going wild and I love it! We have about 25 tomatoes and half as many peppers getting huge! I can't wait to pickle some banana peppers and put home-grown tomatoes on my salad! Yum.


H is for Horton. That's my maiden name. I realized when one of my good friends didn't know my maiden name that it is actually very important to me that you know it! I have the book Horton Hears a Who (have had it since I was a little girl) and am just waiting on the elephant and movie to complete my collection. ;)


I is for ice-cream. I crave it like a mad fool when I'm pregnant. Okay, I always crave it, but I just feel more "okay" with eating it regularly when I'm pregnant. Heehee.


J is for Jerry. One of Casey's best friends turned 30 today - kinda crazy, and means that Casey will turn 30 in 7 months!! I'm gonna be married to an old man! ;)


K is for knocked up. It feels like half of the people I know are pregnant right now! Most of them are due sometime before me, and a few right after me. Excited for all of baby #2's playmates! Lots of babies bein' born in 2012!


L is for lobster. Casey is my lobster. *Name that tv show!!* (If you can't, we're probably not that great of friends. Haha!)


M is for masters degree. I am getting mine in counseling and taking 9 hours this summer. I am sooo close to being done, I can almost taste it! I have completed 27 hours of a 52 hour program and after this summer I'll have 9 more (totaling 36!). I am doing my first internship this fall (there are 3 semesters of internships) and am very excited!


N is for nanny. I think most people know that I keep 2 twin boys during the school year, but a lot of people don't know that I am keeping 1 little boy 2 days a week during the summer! I'm like an official nanny. Haha :)


O is for Obama or Oprah? If you had to vote for one of them for president of the United States who would you pick?? I would love to know your answer in the comments section. :) Might be a hard decision for some of you! Ha!


P is for Pets. I'm trying to talk Casey into letting us find a new home for both of ours…I know, it's super sad, but I really don't want to overwhelm myself anymore than I have to when baby #2 is born. I remember how stressed Lucy made me in the first few weeks when we brought Sawyer home. I think poor Lucy is going to get less and less attention and she deserves a lot! She is a very sweet dog. If I could give her to someone for 2 or 3 years and then ask for her back, that is what I would do. Sawyer loves her. (Casey doesn't like Ella, so I know he'll be okay with me finding a new home for her, but that makes me sad, too, and for some reason I can't get rid of just one of them without feeling guilty for keeping the other! Plus, Ella is way less work than Lucy, anyway). Pet owners - please don't hate me. :( I already feel bad about this and will probably take months to make this decision.


Q is for q-tip. Unfortunately Sawyer inherited my super waxy ears. Poor girl.


R is for reading. I haven't been hooked on a good book in a little while, BUT I started a new Bible reading plan on my iPhone in order to read the Bible in a year's time and I look forward to reading each day! Turns out the Bible can hook you, too. How 'bout that?!


S is for shoes. Sawyer got her first pair of "real" shoes (you know, the kind you can actually walk in)! She loves them and will pick them up and try to put them on her feet. Never before had she raised her foot to help me put her shoes on before these shoes. They must be really comfortable, or maybe she just knows they are better for your feet when you walk on hot surfaces. ;) Either way, she likes them and I'm happy with my purchase!


T is for tickle.  Casey tickles Sawyer to death and she giggles and giggles and giggles. It is so stinking cute!!! I need to video it, but every time she gets to giggling I don't want to leave the room to go get the camera! She takes my breath away when she gets like that. Pure joy.


U is for umbrella. A couple of weeks ago I met Alycia in Dallas for lunch at Sfuzzi! We had a grand ole time and about 2 hours in we were wrapping up and ready to head out when we looked outside to see a huge downpour of rain--really it wasn't coming down as much as it was coming sideways. It was more rain than I had seen in a while actually. So we decided to order dessert and ended up staying another 2 hours until the rain was completely gone. I never have my umbrella when I need it, but in this case it turned out to be fun! :)


V is for vision. Television that is! There is nothing on TV during the summer and I hate it! I watched an entire season of 24 and am just waiting to borrow the other seasons from my sister-in-law (hint hint! :) Casey and I enjoy Big Brother and are waiting patiently for July 12th. Ps. we don't have cable or netflix, so please don't start suggesting tv shows that we can't watch - it's mean! :)


W is for wagon. Sawyer loves her red wagon and takes rides around the backyard frequently! Casey pulls her around to water the garden and trees and she waves at me on the porch and smiles. So cute.


X is for x-ray. I'm supposed to go to the dentist next week and always think it's fun to tell them I can't get an x-ray since I'm pregnant! I don't like how often they x-ray my teeth anyway! I've never had a cavity and don't think I need an x-ray every year. They just want my money! haha.


Y is for yawn. I have just not been getting enough sleep lately! Or maybe I'm still extra tired from being pregnant. Either way, I'd like a nap! 


Z is for zoo. We have taken Sawyer to the zoo two times this year and she has loved it both times! I think she is going to be an animal lover for sure. 

24 hours down…

27 hours + 3,700 clock hours left to go.

I think this counseling degree/license may take me forever.

Because it's hard to explain and I get so confused myself, I am going to write it all out so that I have something to refer back to and also you all can understand (if you want to), as well! :)

Here is the outline of how I've been trucking along…

Summer 1 - 2010
Coun 512 - Career Development
Coun 522 - Counseling Diverse Populations

Summer 2 - 2010
Coun 517 - Assessment in Counseling

Fall - 2010
Coun 501 - Intro to the Counseling Profession
Coun 514 - School Counseling & Development

Spring - 2011
Coun 510 - Counseling Theories & Techniques
*A particularly hard semester since I had Sawyer in April and finished out this class in May.

Summer 1 - 2011
I took the month of June off & it was glorious to just hang with my baby with no work or school looming over my head:)

Summer 2 - 2011
Coun 534 - Counseling Children & Adolescents

Fall - 2011
Coun 528 - Into to Group Dynamics & Procedures

(those are my completed 8 classes/24 credit hours)

Here is my plan for the future…

Spring - 2012
Coun 516 - Pre-practicum
Coun 539 - Intro to Play Therapy

Summer 1 - 2012
1 class (TBD)

Summer 2 - 2012
1 class (TBD)

Fall - 2012
Coun 551 - Practicum
*Required minimum 100 hours at an agency or school setting (unpaid)
Coun 549 - Ethics in Professional Counseling (a 1 hour class)

Spring - 2013
Coun 552 - Internship
*Required 300 hours field experience at an agency or school setting (unpaid)

Summer 1 - 2013
1 class (TBD)

Summer 2 - 2013
1 class (TBD)

Fall - 2013
Coun 552 - Internship 2
*Required 300 hours field experience at an agency or school setting (unpaid)

December 2013 - Graduation!!!

At the time of graduation I will be qualified to be a school counselor. However, I will not yet be qualified to have a counseling practice until I do the following after graduation (the actual link to the requirements in Texas is HERE):

1) Study for licensure…
2) Take both the National Counselor Exam and the Texas Jurisprudence Exam
3) Receive temporary LPC license…
4) Begin supervised post-graduate counseling to get 3,000 clock hours (3,000 hours may not be completed in a time period of less than 18 months).

So if all goes exactly as planned…I will graduate with my masters in December of 2013 (and maybe go to work as a school counselor) and get my LPC license around January 2015 (and hopefully go to work as a family therapist).

Omigoodness…my head may explode.

It's a CeLeBrAtiOn!!!

I wanted to post a little celebration on here because I just took my last final of the semester! I have been so ready to get my classes over with this semester! I learned a lot, but man where they a beating! SO many assignments and some were really long and difficult! Here is just a little comment I got from one of my professors this evening which made my day! :)

Kelly Kozlowski12/14/2010 7:33 PM

Clearly outstanding!  Any school would be fortunate to have you as part of their team.  Bravo.   Would you mind my sharing this as an example of outstanding work?

Yay! Now I only have to work 4 hours tomorrow before Casey & I head to Houston for a wedding! I am so excited that I don't have to go back to work until January 4th! And before we know it our little girl will be here! 2011 is going to be fun :)

My Career Path

As you know I am currently taking 2 graduate courses in counseling. One of those courses is all about career development. I had to write a paper that incorporates my path to my career and many career theories that have impacted me. I chose to write my paper about myself first and then go back and plug in the theories. Because the theories will make it way longer and maybe a little less interesting to some of you (but maybe more interesting to others) I am pasting just the autobiography part of it on my blog. It is not yet edited and will have some flaws. Here is my path to teaching and counseling. Enjoy!

            In my early years of playing I remember pretending to have a couple of different jobs. I was a teacher, a cook, and a mom. When I was pretending to be a teacher I had my friends sit in an old school desk that we had at our house. I would give them assignments to do and then it would be my turn to sit in the desk and be the student. I much preferred to be the teacher than the student. As a little girl, I also had a kitchen set that was outside in the backyard on our deck. I would go around the yard picking different flowers and grass and call them herbs and food. I particularly remember a purple flower that I pretended to be an onion because it was the same color. I would put these things on my stove and pretend to be cooking it all. I would serve it to my parents on the table and chairs that were out on the deck. I loved when they played along. I also remember playing like I was a mom. I did this with dolls, but also with my mom and dad. I was an only child so they were my playmates unless I had a friend over. When I would play like I was a mom I would tell my mom that she was the baby and that she needed to take a nap. She has since told me that this was the easiest playtime with me because she got to sleep!

            As I grew up I said I wanted to become many things from teacher to doctor to lawyer. Becoming a lawyer stuck with me through about ninth grade. I made a friend in seventh grade that had my same first name, Lauren. We were best friends throughout all of middle school and high school and are still good friends today. In seventh grade, she also wanted to be a lawyer and for a couple of years we said that when we grew up we would open a law firm named “L&L Law.” When we got into high school I do not think we talked much about this anymore. We probably realized that that was more of a “middle school” dream. However, I do not recall what I wanted to be in high school. I do not think I knew. I remember at times I wanted to be a photographer like my dad. He was a professional wedding photographer, and he said I had a gift for capturing photos. I do not think I wanted to be this for long and it was always something that I went back and forth on. My mom was a licensed professional counselor from when I was about ten years old until now. I remember admiring her because she went back to school after I was born and got her bachelors and masters degrees in six years with highest honors. However, I did not want to do what she did. I did not have the desire to help people, really. I wanted to do what I liked and what I enjoyed. The problem is that I just did not know what that was.

            In October of my junior year of high school I was shopping with my mom when I realized I needed to get a job. I kept picking up things that I wanted, and she kept giving me that look that said “no.” I remember holding up a necklace I admired at Stein Mart in Rockwall and saying, “Mom, I need to get a job, don’t I?” I knew my friend, Lauren, had just gotten a job at Spring Creek Barbeque in Mesquite, so I went right home, drove myself there, applied, and was hired on the spot! I began my first job as a “bread girl” making minimum wage, which was $5.15 at the time. I enjoyed working with my friend, but quickly realized that this job was not getting me places. I needed better hours and more money. I also needed a better boss.

            In the spring of 2003 I applied at Chick-fil-a where my boyfriend of six months, as well as many of my other friends, worked. It took me a month of applying over and over again to finally get an interview. The owner said he knew he’d better call me because I was going to make them run out of applications. In March I started my second job as a cashier. I can still vividly remember the first day that I worked at Chick-fil-a in the morning and then drove to Spring Creek to start my dinner shift. “Exhausted” does not describe what I remember feeling. I promptly quit my job at Spring Creek to continue what was to become a 2-year stint at Chick-fil-a. Both the owner and the general manger of Chick-fil-a liked me, gave me several raises, and were great to work for. I worked there throughout the rest of high school and until the end of my freshman year of college.

Now let me rewind back a little to the summer after my junior year of high school. This experience overlaps with what was going on in my life while I worked at my first couple of jobs. In July of 2003, I went on a mission trip with my youth group from church. It was my first time to visit a place that was genuinely poor and way below the poverty line. It greatly impacted me. I made close connections to many of the little boys and girls in the neighborhood and cried and cried when I had to leave them. Nevertheless, I went back to school and enjoyed my last year of high school. I became frantic when I realized I had not been working hard in school and did not have very good grades. I knew that I wanted to go to Texas A&M University in College Station, but without any prodding from my parents I decided to go to Eastfield for a year, determined that I needed to make good grades so that I could transfer. Looking back on this, I do not understand why I did not just apply to A&M and see if I could get in. I think I was worried I would be rejected and then my choice to go to Eastfield for a year would not have been a choice at all. Nevertheless I decided upon majoring in business, without any idea what I wanted to do with my life. I signed up for the basics, though, so that everything would transfer to A&M.

The summer before I started my freshman year of college I went on another mission trip with the same group as the year before. This time was different. Graduating from high school had already given me a new perspective on life and the world. It is crazy how much I had grown in just one year. There was another big change on this trip as well. There was an older guy on the trip helping out as an intern, whom I just adored. His name was Casey and he was three years older than me, about to start his senior year at the University of Texas in Austin. Aggies versus Longhorns, I know. While on this trip we talked quite a bit about my recent breakup, my intent to go to A&M, and other aspects about life in general. At the end of the trip, when it was time to leave the little kids, I again cried my eyes out on the way home. I could not stand leaving them. I was sitting by Casey on the van ride back when he mentioned to me that I obviously loved children and was good with them. I thought, “okay, is that not true with most girls?” Apparently not. Casey told me that his mom was a teacher and he could see me being one some day as well. A light came on in my head. I had not really thought about being a teacher since my days of playing in elementary school. It was not something I wanted to do in any of my recent daydreams. I thought about this for the rest of the summer and my first semester of college. I still said I was majoring in business, although I was just taking basic classes and did not have to declare a major at Eastfield.

That first semester of college Casey and I began dating. Even though he graduated from UT and came home to live in Mesquite, I was still determined to go to my dream school three hours away. I was accepted into the College of Education at A&M my sophomore year and decided upon teaching language arts and social studies for grades 4-8. Casey and I dated the rest of my time in college and had a long-distance relationship. My senior year, A&M allowed students to student teach anywhere in the state for the first time, so I came home and did my student teaching in Rockwall. We got married four months before I graduated with my bachelors in interdisciplinary studies from Texas A&M.

I finished student teaching during April of 2008, got certified to teach grades 4-8 in language arts and social studies as well as English as a Second Language. I graduated in May of 2008 and attended job fairs in Rockwall and Forney. I was called in May for a second interview in Forney to teach 6^th grade English Language Arts and Social Studies at a brand new school. I am now about to begin my third year in that same position.

While teaching I have grown close with our school counselor and have “picked her brain” on many occasions. She, like me, taught 6^th grade English before becoming a school counselor, giving us a lot in common. Her first year as a school counselor was my first year as a teacher and so we kind of started out new together, taking many “new to Forney” technology and introduction classes. I would say that my conversations with her definitely lead me to apply for the graduate program at Texas A&M-Commerce. However, there is another aspect that has steered me down this path as well. As a child, I never wanted to do what my mom does. Since then, I have grown very fond of my mom’s job as a counselor. She has her own practice in two different cities and is doing very well for herself. She is at a point to where she loves her job more than she ever has. In addition, I love that the program I am in gives me options to be versatile. I can become and school counselor while gaining hours to get my license and then I can decide which I would like to do. I have also been to a few counseling sessions in which my counselor, who was an LPC, was a school counselor and also saw clients at night and on weekends.

All of these experiences have brought me to the position in my career that I am in today. Without my husband initiating thoughts about teaching I may never have decided to be an educator. Without my mom’s successful career as a family counselor or my friend at school, I may never have decided to begin my graduate work in counseling. Family and friends play a very important role in my life and in my career, and I am very thankful for them and their support of my goals and aspirations. 

Depression Hurts

Have you heard this commercial? I am sure you have. It's on all the time. "Depression hurts. Who does depression hurt? Everyone."


We talked about it the other day in my class.


Currently I am working on a big assignment, but I thought this might be a good way to organize some of my thoughts. I am working on reading 5 articles from different professional journals such as the Journal of Community Psychology, Journal of Men's Studies, Journal of Sex Research, Journal of Multicultural and Development, and Journal of Counseling and De Counseling velopment. You would not believe how interesting a lot of these articles are. My assignments was to research a specific ethnic group (I chose Hispanics/Latinos), read 5 articles about them (I read 14 because they were so engaging), and write 5 summaries with my perspective and recommendation. I have currently written 3 of my 5. I am working on the 4th. 


The 4th article is all about depression in adolescent and young adult Latinas. It is SO interesting. 


First of all, here are some depression facts…

• Twice as many women are depressed than men
• 20% of women have had a severe enough bout with depression that they have sought clinical help
• 2.5% of children (both boys and girls) experience clinical depression
• 8.5% of adolescence (both boys and girls) experience clinical depression 
• Hispanic girls and women have consistently higher depression rates than their white counterparts
• Mexican American youth have the highest rates of depression out of all ethnic backgrounds (they are 1.5 times more likely to report dysphoric symptoms)
• Research shows that children who view their family as economically worse off than their peers have higher rates of depression
• 51% of Latina girls in the United States become pregnant by the age 20 (this is important to consider when determining the effects of depression in young adult Latinas - could some of the reports be post-partum, etc.)
• Being an abused child leads to 3 to 4 times more likely to being depressed as an adolescent or adult (in general for all ethnicities)
• sexual abuse carries the greatest risk in becoming depressed (in general for all ethnicities)
• connection with the family and family bonding are found to be connected with lower dysphoria and fewer depressive symptoms in both male and female adolescents and adults
• poor self-efficacy (self-esteem) has been frequently cited as an increasing risk that the individual will experience depressive symptoms
• substance use (drugs, alcohol) is likely to have a reciprocal effect on depression up to 4 years later
• religion is a protecting factor that can be related to depression (meaning religion can help prevent depression)

Now, this particular study began to breakdown the reasons that Latinas are most prone to depression. It studied 904 adolescents Latinas ranging from 13-24 years old with 534 of them being pregnant. They studying their childhood experiences such as maltreatment, abuse, neglect, parental drug use, connection with the family and family bonding. It also looked at self-efficacy, social conformity, and polysubstance problems, and religion.

The study hypothesized that childhood maltreatment, parental drug/alcohol use, and family disconnection would lead to depression while self-efficacy, social conformity, and family connection would be protecting factors for dysphoria.

What they found was intresting… the only significant risk factor for dysphoria was childhood neglect. However, many protecting factors emerged including family connectedness, positive family relationships, social conformity, religious commitment, law abidance, and self-efficacy, with the most significant being family connectedness.

They also found that the pregnant girls did not show higher signs of depression, but rather those who were depressed and had higher levels of religiosity showed lower levels of dysphoria while those who were pregnant and showed lower levels of religiosity shower higher levels of dysphoria. This was the same for those not pregnant as well. Very interesting. I don't know about you, but I would say that this is likely because something to believe in gives a person worth and meaning.


References:
Locke, T., Newcomb, M., Duclos, A., & Goodyear, R. (2007). Psychosocial predictors and correlates of dysphoria in adolescent and young adult Latinas. Journal of Community Psychology, 35, 135-149.

Well, organizing my thoughts on here did help and now I am done with that paper! Thanks for letting me voice my thoughts on here - let me know what you think!

On to paper #5….

My First Counseling Tid Bit!

For those of you who don't already know…I am in my first semester of graduate school. I am working on getting my master of education in counseling and later getting my LPC licensure (licensed professional counselor). I am taking 12 hours this summer - 2 classes in June and 2 in July. The program is a total of 52 hours. This will probably take me 2 1/2-3 1/2 years to complete while working full-time. This is why I am trying to do as much as possible in the summer before school starts up again in August.
I am currently taking two graduate classes, one online and one on Mondays & Wednesdays from 1-5pm. The online class is a Counseling Career Development class and the face-to-face class is Counseling Diverse Populations - a class on counseling multicultural clients…this doesn't just include someone from another race, but someone from another culture can include: a person's gender, someone who is able-bodied or disabled, a person's sexual orientation, a person's religion, and different beliefs and values that a person may have.

I'm not going to say that I agree with everything that is said in this class, but I did learn something that I really liked on Wednesday. It was in the context of offending someone because of their cultural difference, but I like to use it in marriage or friendships or just in life in general. :)

When you harm someone without meaning to, often times we blow it off and say something like, "you shouldn't feel that way because I didn't mean it that way," or "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but I didn't mean to."We rationalize what we said because we didn't have negative intentions…often times we were just being thoughtless or careless with our words.

A great metaphor for this is a lady walking around town with a large knife in her hand. She stumbles and accidentally cuts her husband. If this was you, you wouldn't just say, "oh, don't feel pain, I didn't mean to do it." Instead you would say "Oh! I am SO sorry I hurt you!" The reason for this is that you harmed them, even though you didn't mean to. You would take responsibility for the wound that you could see, but we don't take responsibility for the verbal wounds that we cannot see.



A great quote that my professor said, "I didn't harm you intentionally, but you're still harmed."



Have you ever been hurt by someone's words even when they didn't hurt you intentionally? If so, does it feel good to have them tell you that you shouldn't feel that way? Do not hold onto bitterness for their mishap…you're actions are still your responsibility…but it always feels better to have someone understand that you are harmed. Knowing that you harmed someone and taking responsibility that you "goofed up" goes a long way.

Accidental harm still hurts.

So, what do you think? Ready to have me counsel you? Haha ;)