Lots of Bitter, and Lots of Sweet

This has been a trying and unsettling two weeks in the Coats' Household. Bittersweet for sure.

We are not use to jumping out of our comfort zone on faith and uncertainty. I can definitely say that we have been all too comfortable the last three and a half years of our marriage. (I am mainly speaking about finances…have you ever been to Guatemala?! I mean, seriously, we're all too comfortable).

After much time with the Lord and with our budget, Casey and I have decided that I am going to stay home this school year.

It has not been an easy decision, I assure you.

When I first got pregnant we sat down with our budget and decided that the huge numbers staring us in the face did not match up with me staying at home. Casey's income plus our bills equaled scary, negative, red numbers. That was the end of that, and I told everyone at school that I would for sure be coming back to work in August unless we won the lottery (which we do not play).

After Sawyer was born we took another look at the budget because the thought of going back to work was too sad. I'm not sure what we were thinking had changed…except lots and lots of hospital and NICU bills that kept coming in each day...

July 1st hit, and I basically woke up crying. Was it really already JULY?! Did I really have to leave my sweet baby in another person's home (albeit a really nice person with a really nice home) while I worked 5 days a week? It's just not fair! I might miss her first words, her first steps, lots and lots of sweet smiles and giggles. Surely I would miss important stuff.

Now, I am not the type to say that putting your child in childcare is wrong and would dare not call it "someone else raising your child." I think that is one of the most hurtful things you can say to a mother. If moms didn't work there wouldn't be many wonderful women to teach. I know too many excellent working mothers to say such a thing like that, and I, myself, have plans to go back to teaching someday in the near future.

Fast forward to mid-July….

Sweet Part: Last week I got hired on as a teacher at Mimosa Lane's Playschool (the church Casey grew up in and where we met). I will get to be in the baby room with my sweet Sawyer for her first year of life. Does the Lord provide or what?! Everyone keeps telling me that He honors moms and I already feel that to be true! The position is for Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30-2:30 with actual playschool from 9-2. I plan to sub on Fridays in Rockwall and Forney (Casey's day off).

Bitter Part: Today I went to school and told my principal and staff that I would not be coming back as a teacher this school year. I couldn't get the words out without crying because I am so so sad to be leaving Smith. It has been a huge blessing the past 3 years. I could not have asked for a more kind and understanding principal. I LOVE my team and other friends that I have made there. I will miss them greatly!

2nd Bitter Part: Money is going to be tight and we have already cut cable, and lots of other "extras" in order to make this happen. This is not going to be without sacrifice. We are use to buying nice gifts, going on an expensive vacation every year, eating out several times a week, seeing several movies a month, going on an anniversary getaway every year, and buying nice clothes. This is all going to change. We have basically cut out all vacations, getaways, restaurants, movies, clothes, and gifts (except for some at Christmas)! It is going to be financially difficult, but this is something that we felt called to do. We are praying that the Lord will provide for us and bless our decision for me to stay at home/work part time.

2nd Sweet Part: I get to stay with Sawyer this school year! I get to take her to work with me! I get to have her at home with me! I get to teach her, watch her grow, and make her laugh at all times of the day! I won't feel guilty working long hours at school or have to ask Casey to pick her up on his way home. I won't have to worry about being exhausted all week because of one sleepless, teething night. I get to sub on Fridays knowing that Sawyer is having a blast with her daddy at home (his day off)!

I am overjoyed that we are going to sacrifice on behalf of our daughter. I know it will be worth it.

Random Updates

Today I let my students vote on the name for our new class pet, the gerbil. I know her name was Ginny, but I wanted to give them some "ownership" over her, so I let them nominate names, and then they voted on them. Well, the verdict is in. Her new name is Skittles. Sounds like 6th graders named her, doesn't it? I think so. I am okay with it though. It was better than some of the other nominations though. Ms. Sunshine was a hoot. I really hoped they didn't vote on that so I didn't have to refer to the gerbil as Ms. Sunshine, lol.

This gerbil is very active. I think I may have to remove the "running wheel" during class because that thing is constantly on it! I think she thinks she is getting away. Isn't that sad? I suppose we can be like that sometimes, too. Running from God, but not getting anywhere.

On to other news, Casey is away on a mini-trip. He is playing golf in the "Tin Cup." Roger Clark (my former CFA boss) puts it on every year, and he invites about 25 guys to come and play in East Texas. They stay at his lake house (except Casey and a few others are staying at a hotel due to lack of room for everyone). He left the house at 5:25am this morning in order to get to Chickfila by 5:45. They headed out to East Texas and teed off at 8am. They'll get back tomorrow evening. I think they play 45 holes in all. I think Casey would do this monthly if he could. If it weren't $175, I might let him! :)

I think someone with some resources needs to plan a girls' mini-trip. I know people do this, but it is normally geared for older women, I think. I want a weekend of massages, manicures, pedicures, and shopping :) Too bad that costs more than $175. Maybe I'll get to spend that much on clothes or something since he's getting to do that on GOLF--I cannot think of something I would like to spend money on any less. Ha ha. The difference in guys and girls (I know a lot of girls play golf, but not many of them would rather pay to play than shop)!

Speaking of money....I GET PAID IN TWO DAYS!! WOO HOO! For those of you who don't know...this will be my first real pay check ever. EVER. I think my last pay check over $100 was at Chickfila, which would be like 4 years ago. AND I've basically been working for two months with no pay. Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait! woo hoo!